#boyfriends who are weird and scary not because they’re big and strong and tough but because they make people’s skin crawl🫶🫶🫶🫶

[ghostbeam]

Unsettling boyfriend category

[animescenarios]

I have an over protective big strong scary older boyfriend that chases any boy that likes me away with threats or actual violence. 🥺 in his eyes the boys that like me aren’t worthy. What would Kagami/GOM do to win my over protective big brothers favour so that he brother would approve the relationship?😖😖😖😖😬

Kise: It would be hard to win your brother over with Kise as your boyfriend. Your brother sees him as someone childish, narcissistic and definitely not a good match for you. Kise on the other hand finds it weird that your brother controls your relationships that much and at first doesn’t even try to make things easier between them, sure that he should accept him the way he is if you’re okay with his personality. After some time however, when things don’t go as planned and your brother still doesn’t like to see you two together, he tries to befriend him some more, show how important you are to him and that he’s there because he loves you. He’ll try to win him over with his persistence as it’s not easy to scare him away.

Midorima: You made sure to warn him about your brother early in the relationship and he wanted to know from you the exact reasons behind his behavior, so that he could understand from his point of view what might be problematic in his own personality. When the first meeting happens, he thinks he’s ready, but your brother seems to be really critical, way more than expected. Midorima does his best not to show how nervous the presence of your brother makes him and tries to act like he’d do normally to show the sincerity of his relationship with you. While your brother thinks Midorima is quite uptight and not a good match for his little sister, he also sees how much he wants to be a part of your life.

Aomine: Their first meeting is a disaster, they literally want to fight any few minutes and you have to calm them down all the time. Your brother bluntly states what he doesn’t like about Aomine and he does exactly the same towards him. It becomes a competition and you have to excuse yourself for them to give you a break. One thing that’s for sure is that Aomine doesn’t seem fazed at all by your brother’s threats and only laughs at them. After a while you realize they both have a lot in common. It takes a long while for them to actually get along, but seeing that the threats don’t help and Aomine is always ready to be violent back, your brother gives up for some time and that’s when it really clicks. They become good friends after that.

Murasakibara: He’s a nightmare to put in the same room with your brother. They’re judging each other so hard. Your brother isn’t really sure how he should approach your boyfriend and threat him since he looks as if it should be the other way round. Murasakibara seems very soft and childish at first, but becomes scary whenever your brother tries anything, since you’ve already told him about his attitude towards your previous dates. He’s the person you want to move but you don’t know how, because nothing works. What your brother’s nervous about is that he may be just as harsh with you, but seeing how much he changes whenever you’re in the room actually makes him a bit more hopeful.

Akashi: It’s tough. The first impression Akashi makes is an uptight, cold and harsh person and your brother can’t believe you’re actually trying to become a couple. For him there’s no matching trait between you two, nothing at all, yet you’re there together. Akashi also doesn’t seem to be fazed by your brother’s threats and even though the height difference is big between them, he doesn’t back down the slightest. It makes your brother feel actually weird and confused. But Akashi knows how much it means to you that they get along, so he doesn’t do anything violent and instead straight up tells your brother that he should try and get used to his presence.

Kagami: There’s no way he’ll give you up because that guy wants it to happen – he knows it but why is it so weird standing in front of him when he’s literally staring into his soul? Your brother is strong and scary, but so is Kagami. Yet why is he so anxious? Probably because of you, he wants it to work out for your relationship’s sake. Normally he’d like to challenge the guy and see who’s stronger, better, but Kagami knows well enough that you want your family members to like him. So even though it looks impossible, he tries to befriend your brother, get to know him better and be as careful as possible when around him. Your brother will probably appreciate it, as well as his talents at some point.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Kids Getting Older (Sriracha, Part 30.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: Since you realized that Eleven is getting older and more distant from both you and Jim, you just seem to finally realize how quickly kids grow... And that maybe the kids are not just kids anymore.

A/N: I love this weird family dynamic so much. It is really relaxing to just write a... Normal family dynamic. But that is going to end with the next part. Stay tuned!

Word count: 1.7 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @creedslove @missdictatorme

Master list: H E R E

Christmas holiday spent like a family? The Christmas of 1984 were the best Christmas you had lived through. You spent Christmas Eve in the house of your parents, cooking the dinner with El and mom, and Aiden's girlfriend - you couldn't believe she is real - while you let the boys talk about stuff and drink some Whiskey. Even Aiden got some - just a little, though.

The other day, when you opened all the presents you found under the tree, you left for Joyce's - and holy moly, that house was living. Both Wheelers were there, both Byers boys came along, there were Dustin, Lucas, and Max, even Steve came by. Joyce had a big heart and her house was big enough to take in so many people.

You forced both Hopper and Eleven to pose on a photo with you, having Jonathan taking the picture of you. Each of you had the most disgusting Christmas sweater, just because Aiden bought and gave you these bad boys - Hopper's was too tight, Eleven's too big and your, no matter the size, was just disgusting. After that, kids took their new toys and went to play outside while the adults, along with Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, remained in the house and had a cup of the special Christmas hot chocolate from Mrs. Byers herself.

Then, each of the kids got dressed up and went out for a snowball fight, snowman building and some sledding in the forest behind the house. And bet Hopper’s best shirt that you made him go too. Soon enough, you were there with all the teenagers while he stuck some snow under your jacket, hearing you laugh and scream out loud, having Will and Mike in total terror when you jumped around, trying to get the snow out. In the end, you formed a strong alliance with Eleven and Max, giving the boys exactly what they deserved, winning the fight completely. Then, to calm down, you proceeded to make some angels in the snow while Hop went back inside.

As the year progressed, Eleven started to have a few sleepovers here and there - sometimes, she stayed at Karen’s when boys had a movie or game nights, sometimes you had Max over for dinner. And let me say, since she was living with an asshat like Billy, her older brother, she loved spending time at your place. Especially when Hop had to stay at the station.

When talking about Hop, that man was experimenting. And you didn't know if you liked what you had at home or if you're afraid of what’s he going to come up with next. First came the mustache. Okay, he liked Magnum P.I., you could understand. Then, he put on a bit weight - he appeared taller and more like a bear than ever before. You didn't mind that at all actually because at least, you knew that he's happy with you. And... After that... The wardrobe and cologne experiments came by. Sometimes he pulled out such an outfit that you dragged him to the restaurant’s bathroom to kiss the living fuck out of him and to have a quickie on the bathroom.

Yet, sometimes, he wasn’t looking his best. At those mornings, you stood there, watched him with gritted teeth and walked around with your eyebrows raised. You tried to tell him gently that these maybe aren't working for him the way he would like to and that maybe, you could visit Starcourt with him to pick something else. But Jim was Jim and completely ignored your opinion when it came to fashion.

Starcourt. One of the best Bloomington-Hawkins inventions ever. You loved that place - from the big cinema to a variety of shops it had. Sometimes, when you knew that El won't be misbehaving after, you took there with you so she could choose some new clothes, sometimes you bought her an ice-cream, other times you just walked around the place and talked about boys and stuff. Especially about Mike.

Oh, you remembered the day when the three-inch rule came to your house. You were just watching a movie, curled under Hopper’s arms, being caught up in the chase. That was when a sudden burst of Eleven’s laughter could be heard, making Hop alarmed in a second. You tried to calm him down around this couple - it was the first love and it sure as hell was an intense one. You knew that these two were having make-out sessions behind the closed door... But were you two, you and Hop, any different when you met? No. You were kissing the living hell out of each other when any occasion came by, even after you moved back with him again, and since you were both adults, you even fucked every time and on every place, you got the chance to fuck on.

You were just like them - even at that time. But Jim was able to see incredible differences between you and him and Michael, as he called him, and Jane. He wasnt giving them any actual space, so there was no wonder, why Mike thought that Hopper is an old, insane bastard. You and Mike got along since you were normal when put in his words, and let them close the door. You built bridges of trust between you, Mike and Eleven and as long as you trusted them that they won't do anything insane, you let them have their time.

"Okay. That's it. That's it." - Hopper muttered out and got up, walking to the door. You tried to stop him from basically storming into the room, but it was too late. - "This door won't be closed as long as I'm in the house, do you both understand? Three inches at a minimum." - Jim told them with a pretty damn scary face as he showed them how to do it. When he got a nod from both Mike and Eleven, he left them be, still checking the door.

"You're too paranoid, Jim, I'm telling you." - You whispered once he sat down next to you again, cuddling you closer again. - "They're just kids." - You smiled and kissed his cheek, concentrating on the movie again. But Hopper was still very cautious about these two - his eyes were turning into their direction all the time, he was checking what they were doing until the very moment when Mike had to leave.

Over time, when Hopper had enough of constantly opening the door and checking on these two, you let the gang wonder around Hawkins with El, taking hikes in the woods and around the city. Sometimes they went to chill at the old sawmill near the town, but the all-time favorite was the hill about five miles from the city. They hanged there most of the time when spring and weather came.

You also did your best to spend time with Hopper, sometimes taking him for dinner at your favorite Spanish restaurant, sometimes you went for a walk too. But your favorite thing to do was still just hanging out with him at El. Of course, your mom made you visit them at least once a week. She wasnt too good at handling having both her children gone - both of them for college. Even Aiden had a girlfriend and sometimes, you just all went to their household to grill something and to chat. You loved Lena and you couldn't believe that she’s real. Your small bro was manning up rather quickly.

It was so weird since you could say when he and Steve ran naked around the swimming pool and where did he fell from his bike, telling Lena everything in the process, embarrassing the living shit out of Aiden. Naturally, she was first rather surprised about you dating such an older man, but as the time passed by, she got used to that tough guy and his douche jokes.

And Eleven had to say that she had everything she had ever dreamt of in the lab - parents, a family, a boyfriend, and friends. She even wasnt tugged in as a little girl anymore, she was going to bed on her will, with you kissing her whole face with laughter, hugging her tight every time. Her life couldn't be better. She especially loved when you and Jim didn't know she's watching and you put the gramophone on in the night, quietly, usually playing Sam Cooke or Ben E. King to dance in the living room. Jim was always making you laugh, he spun you around, whispered something to your ear, making you biting your lip as you smacked his shoulder - but for Eleven it was of sing that she can count on you.

But then, summer came by. You hadn't got any idea of why it was so weird. Eleven asked you if she can stay at Max’s on the fourth of July and even if you thought you’d celebrate it together, you let her have her time. You didn't have any idea of what was going on when Hopper suddenly disappeared without letting behind any message. Nobody gave you a clue that there are Russians set loose in and under Hawkins and that there is a fucking D&D monster who was possessing people with the help of Max’s brother himself.

On day two of loneliness, that was the fourth of July precisely, you had enough - you left to your moms and stayed there, waiting for anything. A call, a sign, for one of them showing up. But there was nothing. So you left for the shift that day - and that was where everything was set in motion without anyone of you normal people knowing.

[lowishigh]

20 Things I accomplished in 2019

I thought 2019 has been the shittiest year of my life. But then I thought about it again, this time thinking a little bit harder, and realized that it isn’t so terrible after all. It’s been a year of growth and transformation. Yes, it came with a lot of pain. I mean A LOT OF PAIN. But now I look back, it was worth the ride and I feel nothing but grateful for everything I went through.

Here are the 20 things I think I can really be proud of or content with accomplishing in 2019:

1. Work out regularly

This was my number one goal for 2019. I didn’t believe that I could persevere, especially not with exercising, but I actually made it a habit and I feel so much healthier and stronger now. The best thing about working out regularly is that it helps me to reduce stress and feel a lot more positive about my body. Most importantly, I’ve decreased my body fat percentage by almost 5%!

2. Overcome a breakup

I ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone who I really once believed that I could love forever. I got dumped with a really shitty accusation through texts and I wanted to kill myself when it happened. I didn’t think I could recover from it at first. I begged for that person’s love and another chance to show him that I can be good enough for him. In the first two weeks I couldn’t eat and felt numb most of the time. But gradually I regained my strength with the help of my friends and by focusing on working and engaging in activities. I found my inner peace and started to examine this relationship from different perspectives. The more I reflect on it, the more I understand that it wasn’t meant to be and I’m blessed that he at least was decent enough to let me go so I can have the opportunity to meet the next person who’s got what it takes to build a healthy, mature, and happy relationship that I deserve with me. This experience was priceless and I’ve learned so much from it. I feel like I know myself and what I want/need better now. And this grounds me for getting ready for a relationship that’s worth my best energy.

3. Undergraduate diploma

In fact, I’m not particularly proud of this but I still spent five years working on it and life could be a lot harder without a diploma so I still want to put it on the list to sort of celebrate it. It’s also for acknowledging the fact that I’m not a student anymore.

4. Let go of an unrequited love

This is a weird one, I know. How could I possibly be in love with someone else for over a decade while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow because of a breakup?

It dates back to a long time ago and we have a long history. I’m not gonna go into it but this person has always been really important to me and he always will. We missed each other multiple times at different stages of life because of a lot of things we weren’t in control of. And I had always wanted to tell him how I felt but never found the right timing nor the courage to do it. So it was a big step forward that I finally did it this summer.

I’m so glad that I did it and am even happier about our friendship growing stronger after having a brutally honest conversation about everything. I’m also really relieved because now I can really move on and stop wondering about the “what if”s. I’m forever grateful for the purest form of love he had displayed to me in the past and the continuous support he offers whenever I need it. Cheers to a lifelong friendship and honesty!

5. Scuba diving license

It was an exciting adventure and made me realize that there’re still so many fun things out there I want to explore and experience. I also got to see how beautiful my country is and spent some really wonderful time with my friends. Through getting this license, it really empowered me to get out of my comfort zone and feel excited about the unknown. This means a lot to me also because my ex boyfriend held me back from trying scuba diving in the past for his own fear of getting deep into the sea. I felt like in a way I was shaking off the chains he put on me when I finally got my license. It meant freedom and independence. 

6. Made new friends

2019 has always been a year full of new friends. These new friends expand my worldview and pour in fresh ideas to my mind. It’s amazing to review how many new people I have met this year and how much I have learned from each of them. I also received so much love and care from people who barely knew me but were generous and kind enough to offer help, support, advice, and guidance. I’m thankful to them for showing me the best side of human beings and I want to do this for others, too.

7. Reconnect with old friends

New friends are indeed fresh and exciting but catching up with old friends always makes me feel extra blessed. Especially with international friends, you never know when and where you’re gonna see each other again the next time, so it’s for sure the best feeling when you get to hang out together again. I’ve had several opportunities to do this with some old friends I made overseas this year and I’m truly grateful for this. It’s never easy to maintain contact with people far away from you but I always try my best. 

8. Travel

I love traveling and compared to the previous years, I haven’t done much traveling in 2019. But I’m still super glad that I got to spend 2 weeks in London and a week in Portugal this year. All the places I visited were amazing and worth revisiting. Moreover, London truly inspired me to do anything I can to move away from Taipei so I won’t feel stuck constantly. It’s a pity that I didn’t make it to Vietnam or New York like I planned to earlier this year. And I might not get the same luxury to travel so much like in uni as I have work responsibilities now and less money to spend freely. But I will definitely still try to do a trip or two every year in the future!

9. Joining VO1SS Taiwan

I came across this opportunity by randomly scrolling on Facebook. I got introduced to the founder and got the position of editor in chief of VO1SS Taiwan right away. It’s always really encouraging when people tell me that they immediately see my potential and think my personality is suitable for taking on an important role. Although this is an unpaid job at a non-profit organization, I truly appreciate having this opportunity to work with passionate and driven people with the vision of connecting people around the world together with a digital interactive media. I’m constantly learning about what it means to be a good leader in this role and I’m so grateful of all the advice and feedback I get from my teammates. 

10. Showing up for my family during the toughest time

We’ve had plenty of ups and downs this year in my family. When unexpected things hit, the only thing you could do is stick through it with your loved ones and react in the calmest, most reasonable way possible so you don’t hurt even harder with the train wreck. Each of the challenges was super tough for me but I did my best to show up for everyone anyway. I’m not saying that I did everything perfectly, but I did what I could do and what I thought I had to do to offer help and support. Most importantly, I also had to hold myself together and lower the impact of these things to my mental stability as much as possible. It really was very difficult for me and for everyone. Through these hardships, I learned that there’re always gonna be things that you have no control over in life and it’s okay to not always know what to do. It’s scary as f*ck which is why it’s important to have a strong support system and safety net with people who truly care and can offer good advice.  

11. Becoming aware of sustainability and cruelty-free

I started paying more attention to the harm of over-consumerism to the environment and also to our peace of mind after watching the documentary film “Minimalism”. I took a good look at how I was living, how much unnecessary purchase I made, and how much waste I produced obliviously over the years. So I decided to change my habit of consuming and reduce the harm of it as much as possible. I’m constantly looking for affordable, environmentally friendly, and cruelty-free products. I think twice before buying anything now. I’ve stopped spending money on things because I “want” them but because I truly “need” them or see the value of them. 

12. Listening to podcasts

For some reason, podcasts never really interested me up until this year. More and more friends around me told me that they’re listening to podcasts and each of them recommended something that they really love listening to. That’s how I got into the world of podcasts and I find a lot of the contents up there really informative and helpful. Now, instead of music, I sometimes listen to podcasts on health, spirituality, and language/culture learning during commute and shower. It has certainly opened another window for me to absorb knowledge and connect to the world. 

13. Doing online courses

Another thing that I really got into this year is online courses. Ironically, when I was still a full-time student, I could never really finish any online courses because learning was a mandatory thing. Now that I’m working, I find learning such a luxury and I’m loving every second of sitting down and learning something new for a couple of hours. I’m also really glad that I pushed myself out of the comfort zone to take the courses that contain some math and science which had always been something I was so afraid of in school. I even started learning how to code which is absolutely something I would never have imagined for myself a year ago. It feels really good to know that I can learn anything and that there’s no limit in learning. When I feel stuck in life, going back to learning always makes me feel alive again. 

14. Becoming  more responsible and careful with money (investment in funds)

I’ve never been so stressed out about money in my life like this time right now. I’m earning very little and don’t have much extra money to save up. However, I made up my mind to save as much as possible regardless of how little the amount might be. 

15. Discover my passion in public health

I was very lost, resentful, and disoriented when I graduated from university. It suddenly struck me that I was way too naive and didn’t seize the opportunity to better prepare myself for the challenges and predicaments in the world of harsh competitions, low salary, and limited choices. Meanwhile, a few things also changed my mind about working in films. For a very long time, I’d always thought it’s something I wanted to do, and losing grip of that left me in a very confusing situation. Luckily, through working on a project related to healthcare and medical services, I discovered that public health is a field that has a lot of potentials and interests me in various aspects. I felt like I have finally found my calling in life and it sets my purpose and direction for the future. 

16. Finished two scripts for short films

Despite my decision of not working in the film industry after graduation, I still want to continue writing stories and creating because it’s always going to be my passion and I believe in the power of storytelling. I was very lucky to have the opportunities to finish two scripts, although one of them wasn’t made into an actual film at the end. The creative process of writing scripts and shooting the movies really reminded me of how much I enjoy presenting a story visually.

17. Livestream talk show

Over the past few years, the idea of running a YouTube channel has crossed my mind several times. However, I never really persisted because I didn’t find a certain theme or topic of which I had so much to talk about. Starting this livestream talk show with my friend was indeed exciting for me because having someone on the show that can interact with me and exchange ideas with is much more interesting than recording content by myself. I wish to start doing podcasts in the coming year. 

18. Switch to a more positive way of using social media

A lot of people believe that a “social media detox” means that you have to be completely off it to regain your inner peace. This method is doable for some people, but definitely not for the majority of the population. We’re way too engaged in the Internet and the culture of media, after all. But there is an alternative solution. Earlier this year, I checked all the accounts I was following on social media and deleted the ones that simply did not “spark joy” for me anymore. I used to follow mostly accounts that feature fashion, beauty and celebrity news that encourage consumerism. After deleting the accounts that only made me feel that I was lacking of something instead of feeling inspired, encouraged, and educated, I started focusing on the contents about health, spirituality, and self-improvement. Right now, whenever I go on social media, I can always expect to learn something or get inspired. For me, social media isn’t a source of anxiety and depression anymore, quite the contrary, it introduces so much positive energy to my life every day. 

19. Healthier sleep routine

I used to have difficulty going to bed and getting up early. I used to always tell people that “I’m not a morning person”. But now I can really appreciate the beauty of morning and the benefits of starting a day early. I stopped staying up super late and I feel much more energetic throughout the day. I can make better use of my time and get more done in the daytime. This change of habit helps me stay focus and on track in life. I finally don’t feel like an irresponsible teenager that feels tired and lack of purpose despite sleeping 10 hours a day. 

20. Cut my hair short 

This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for many years. I didn’t do it because I wanted to avoid fights with my ex and I was afraid of other people’s opinions on my haircut. So I just kept sticking to what I’m used to. This November, I finally made up my mind and cut my hair short and I absolutely love how I look now. It’s like a ritualistic thing to do to say goodbye to my past. And I’m really glad that I made the decision purely considering how I feel about it, not anyone else’s opinions.

[mntflka]

ANNIVERSARY

“I can imagine your boyfriend being so problematic and annoyed because of how hard it is to deal with you.” She faintly utters with those side smile as she clearly remembers how those words came up from her friend’s mouth, and added, “I couldn’t agree more.” HARD is just an understatement if she is to describe how hard it is to deal with herself and at that time, she started to accept the fact that she will not be loved in a romantic way, no one can deal with her and bear with her for so long. She started to realize that it was her fault why not just one but so many people got tired of her. She started accepting that fact at the same time when her world was slowly drifting apart and started crumbling down. She lost so much people in her life that she was so afraid to live her life because she never felt so alone and even if when people tried to reach out, the fear of being too invested on people that will just end up leaving her is just so scary and is engraved deep within her that she chose to shut down everyone. Until one day, a much unexpected day, she met her Primo.

As she looks back and remembers the day that they met, she can’t help but wonder why she waited for how many hours for him to message her when she hates waiting for replies. “Sorry tumakbo pa ako na pang-amazing race para magpa-load para inisin ka kasi alam ko ayaw mo sa late reply�� was his first message to her. And lo and behold that started their friendship. As days go by, it is very evident how they become so close that talking to each other about how their day went to deep talks to freaky talks became routine. “To be honest, when we met I didn’t expect it that you would mean so much to me and you are God’s answer to my prayers.” She said as she reminisces their memories together.

Before he came into her life, people knew her as someone who was independent, strong, and brave but slowly all those things started to break and shatter until she became helpless, pessimist, weak and depressed. In a span of how many months, things started to go against her when the people she values the most left her hanging. Her bestfriend left her, her barkada was mad at her, her friends ghosted on her, bad things just kept on going and going yet she couldn’t open up to anyone until things started to pile up that made her question her worth and made her think that no one really cared for her. She was lost. She wanted to give up and just end the pain and the suffering. Crying every single night inside the four corners of her room while curling up in bed and pillows soaked up with tears became the routine while asking  God to make the pain stop and make her feel numb because the Elisha that everyone knew was gone. She’s empty, has nothing else to give, and no will to live. But truly God has a different plan when He allowed her to meet someone who turned her life into 360 degrees. During a very boring and lonely night, he met this guy who told her to wait for 3 hours and she doesn’t even know what got into her but she waited. Little did she know, the guy she is literally waiting is the same guy she has been praying for- her saving. It wasn’t easy opening up at first, but Primo is not hard to be at ease with because he wasn’t the usual guy that everyone knew. He’s decent and a guy with a pure heart. Until they both started feeling weird feelings toward each other. Despite the distance, Elisha can say it was the best decision she ever made because it was with him that she was the happiest. Ever since she always wanted to have a long-distance relationship. Yeah, crazy is an understatement as what her friends say but for her, it wasn’t. Because she grew up believing that when people are in a relationship, love is not just enough to keep it going. It needs trust, loyalty, and faithfulness for it to work. She believed that distance is not a problem when two people truly love each other. Distance is just merely a number. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Other people say that no long-distance relationship lasts but for her, there are. It’s just that maybe relationships that did not last are not meant to last, they’re not meant for each other or they chose not to fight for each other. No amount of distance can break you apart if two people truly and dearly love each other because sometimes distance is also needed for us to grow. But this belief is bound to end and not last when every single day, all that she could think about is to be with him. Despite the miles apart, he never failed to make her his Princess. He never failed to make her smile. He made her want to have a future, a family, and to pursue her dreams.

If people would ask the Elisha before what she wants in the future, she would probably just answer “Have my own foundation, go to Dignitas and die.” But if the Elisha who met Primo would answer that, it would be “I want to graduate with RMT and proceed to Med. Get married, and have four kids. Have my own foundation for cancer patients and peacefully live with my family.” There’s a very big difference in how they see the future because that’s what Primo showed to her, the beauty of life that she tried to bury deep within because of all the things that life threw at her.

To the Love of My Life and my Everything: Lovey, Love, Mon Amour, Baby, Babi, Babe,Bb, Mahal, Dadi, Hubby, and my Amor Mio. I gave you my heart with no inhibitions, no questions, I gave it wholeheartedly and unconditionally even if things were so rough and hard to handle, even there were so many questions unanswered, I stayed because I love you, deeply. Do you know that saying “Loving someone is like giving them the chance to hurt you but trusting them not to”? Before we became a couple, I told you what I went through, all the shit that life threw at me, all the pain that I felt. I told you everything, every single thing. I told you those things that no one knew because I thought you were different, I thought you won’t be like those people who just left- but I was wrong. Before you left, we talked about how my life will crumble down again once you choose to leave me, and it did happen. Despite the distance, you were not just my boyfriend, you were my badest bitch, bestest bestfriend, my dad at times even. You knew everything in my life. I wasn’t dependent before you came, but you made me one. That feeling when I wasn’t even scared to lose the people around me because I knew that I have you, I wasn’t scared to be alone because I knew I have you, I wasn’t scared to try new things because I knew that when I fail, you will still be there by my side. You were not just my boyfriend but you were my other half. You lifted me up when I feel like shit, you never forgot to assure me every single day that I am worth it, you never forgot to make me believe in myself and that I am capable of doing great things.  You knew how scared I was with life but when you came you made me want to live, continue to fight and to have my own family. You were my comfort, my defender, my happy pill, and my home. You changed my life but sadly, you didn’t even stay. You chose to throw the ace card and break me all at once. You build me up but you also broke me apart into pieces, you made me feel the things I told you I’m afraid of feeling again. If I just knew that would be our last call, I should have talked to you ‘til the sun showed up, I should have not let you drop the call, I should have not said goodbye. We shared so many memories that I will forever treasure in my heart. Memories that no one can take away. But despite all the pain that you caused me, I wanna let you know that I don’t feel any anger towards you because, despite everything that has happened, I am still grateful and blessed to have met you and shared my life with you. You thought me so many things that made me who I am today and I promise not to do stupid things because I know that you wouldn’t be happy. Love, it hurts. So much. Every single day, the pain and sorrow that I am feeling just get deeper and deeper. Thank you so much for everything, Love. I hope you’re doing fine and always know that you are in my prayers. I guess, I’ll be back being that Elisha who doesn’t want to have a family once again, because it will always be you or no one else, I love you beyond words can express and I will wait for you no matter what. I am always here and will forever be here. But sadly, I have to learn again how to be alone. How to face life alone without you. Don’t worry even if no one will be there to listen to my rants and cries about acads, even if no one will call when I fail, even if no one will be there to make me smile after a very tiring day, even if no one will be there to wake me up when I need to go and attend my Chem class, even if no one will be there on the other side of the call when I’m studying, even if no one will be there to ask me to keep on revising letters, even if no one will help me look for sources if I cry because the teachers are annoying, I will try my best to be strong. I will try my very best to get that RMT, MD because I know that’s what you want me to do. To keep fighting and pursue great things. Even if I have to crawl to finish this, I will, for you because I know you believe in me. It’s gonna be hard and tough once again without you but maybe you left me for a reason. A reason that I will never know. There may be so many questions and uncertainty but there is this one thing that I am sure of and that is Te amo mucho, amor mio. Svethlana Reese, Alexander Reeve, Avery Gabriel and Ameythyst will forever be in my heart even if they won't be able to see the light. I love you so much, more than you can ever imagine. Just like what you asked me before you dropped the call, I will wait for you. I love you and I miss you very much.

PS: You know how hard it is for me to write something about yourself, and I tried. I am sorry if this is not as good as the poems you gave me.

 Will forever love you,

Doktora

[brittanyyoungblog]

10 Serious Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

Dating can be difficult — especially if you’re new at it, or back in the dating pool after a past relationship didn’t work out. Even though many women get the label of “intense” if they ask the big questions by date two or three, it’s literally the smart thing to do. Why? Well, because it’ll save you a lot of hurt later if you fall for someone who doesn’t have a compatible life plan.

If you’re starting to realize that your casual dates are starting to become legit, or perhaps you’re in a relationship where it wouldn’t be weird if a proposal was being planned, here are some of the serious questions to ask your boyfriend to get to know him better, and see if you’re a good fit for the long-haul.

1. Do you want children someday? Kids are a huge topic. It’s okay to want a big family, and it’s also okay to be childfree by choice. But it’s not okay to bully someone into making a decision about it that they’re not okay with. If you think their opinion might change with time, you’d be wrong. Yes, it happens, but banking on it will eventually lead to disappointment. If your boyfriend isn’t into having a family, but being a mom has always been a dream of yours, you’ll unfortunately want to sever ties. It’ll hurt now, but you’ll be thankful later when you meet someone great that also loves the idea of kids.

2. Are name brands important to you? It may seem like a weird question to ask, but here’s why it’s important. All of us have a specific brand we like, but for many people, brands help them control how other people perceive them. If he’s not a watch guy but insists on getting a Rolex to make it look like he’s successful, it means he’s into appearances. With marriage, you might not always be able to afford flashy accessories—especially if you’re hoping to have kids someday. If he always needs the best of the best, and can’t settle for anything less, you might find yourself financially incompatible. With a serious partner, you need to be able to handle an assortment of hardships, and money is one of the biggest.

3. What’s your opinion on marriage? Some couples don’t like to make the big legal commitment, so it’s important to know what your guy thinks about the whole thing. If his parents had an unhappy marriage, there’s a chance he’s in no rush. Or, maybe he just doesn’t want to have a big wedding. If you’re expecting a ring, and it’s not even on his radar, it’s good to know that ahead of time.

4. Do you like pets? Just like children, pets—namely dogs, who need a lot of care—are a big issue. If you’re in your early 20s and love animals, you might be roaming around the local shelters looking for a furry friend. Dogs are a big commitment, and when you bring one home, you should plan on it being permanent. If he’s not a fan of pets, or happens to have a cat allergy you’re unaware of, now is the time to talk about it. And yes—It’s hard to believe that some people don’t like pets, but hey, it happens.

5. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend before? How did that go? If he’s never lived with a significant other, and you feel like that might be the next logical step in your relationship, you should ask him how he feels. This is also a good time for you to figure out, based on what you know, if you’d be compatible housemates. Is he messy? Does he know how to clean up after himself? Is he going to expect you to handle a majority of the chores? Better figure that out now before you sign a lease.

6. How do you typically vote? Personally, growing up, my parents made a point to let me know that they never discussed voting with each other on election day—they went behind the curtain, made their decision, and stayed silent. Who they chose to vote for was entirely up to them. Even though this is a noble method, people are openly talking about politics a lot more these days. Especially since things have gotten downright scary in the last year or two. By asking about political preference, you might get their stance on a lot of other social issues. While it’s possible for people from two other parties to get married, it’s going to be a lot harder to find common ground.

7. Do you have debt? Most everyone has some amount of debt that they’re working to pay off—that’s just a way of life, especially for many millennials. Still, it’s a tough topic to bring up. But it’s important, since it might give you a hint about how he is with money. Also, if marriage is in the future and you plan on combining finances, it’s good to know if you’ll be helping pay off his student loans.

8. What’s one thing you’d change about yourself? This one might make him think, but it’s a good way to see what he may be a little insecure over. If he sometimes has a stutter when he’s nervous, you’ll know it’s something you shouldn’t bring up to him. Or, if he wishes he was more daring, maybe that’s something you can help him change.

9. Would you ever be willing to do long distance if need be? Nobody loves being long distance, but for some, it’s a total dealbreaker. If something happened (say, an extended work trip, or a need to visit a sick relative for a month or two) it’s good to know how your boyfriend would respond to that. It’ll also let you know how serious he is about you. Is he willing to go through a few uncomfortable months if it means staying together?

10. Are you willing to move? Moving is a big deal, especially if you already live close to family. The two of you need to sit down and talk about whether or not you’d be willing to switch coasts for a job transfer, or if you’re only willing to relocate an hour away from where you currently are—if at all. If you’re planning to have kids someday, it’s especially important. It’s already a pain to have to find new doctors and friends in a totally new town, but with children, you have to find a new school district and make sure they’re all caught up.

If you’re in a strong relationship, your boyfriend will understand why these questions—while serious—are being asked. The most successful couples are open and honest about their wants, needs, and expectations. Even if the two of you have a lot of obvious traits and interests in common, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have identical life plans.

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